Post by Psycho Luke on Apr 25, 2010 6:34:02 GMT -5
Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale,
A tale of a fateful trip
That started from this tropic port
Aboard this tiny ship.
The Luke was a mighty sailing man,
The stripper nude for sure.
Five passengers set sail that day
For a three hour tour, a three hour tour.
The weather started getting rough,
The tiny ship was tossed,
If not for the courage of the fearless crew
The bitches would be lost, the bitches would be lost.
The ship set ground on the shore of this uncharted desert isle
With Psycho Luke
The Stripper too,
The murderer and his knife,
The superstar
The Molester and Aaronman,
Here on Psycho Luke's Isle.
What a nice day it was. The sky was as blue as the sky normally is. The water, although a bit murky was rippled with the friction of the gentlebreeze that blew this ship along. Oh but this was no ordinary ship. This was the SS Bitches, finest ship in all of stormalong. A few were lounging on the deck, while in control of the vessle was Psycho Luke. One of the most famous pirates who ever lay. An eyepatch covered his left and a grin covered his face. He seemed in nirvana. The way the ship quietly sailed along the lake, boy it was a nice afternoon.
Luke: Evan me boy, you were right. There is nothing quite like sailing out in the open water. The nice breeze you feel as your ship gets pulled by it, the vast blue view only intercepted by a glimpse here and there of land. The crisp clear thoughts running through your head with nothing to disturb them. This is indeed heaven. To be able to think for once without people shouting in your ear consistently. The only chattering out here is that of the gulls,waiting to use your precious ship as a toilet. And to think I've not thought of this sooner. Evan, you really are a champion.
Soon another fellow runs up to Luke with an estranged look on his face.
Superstar: Luke, It's me, the superstar. There's a murderer on board! The stripper was just found stabbed to death, and she's nude! Nude I tell you!
Luke: I am too calm to care, to stoned to throw a bone....or whatever that phrase may be. Say, have you offered to make him a batch of tea? I bet such a substance would sooth his soul and farce him to put his knife away.
Superstar: Say, I never thought of that. Thank's cap'n!
Luke: Hey hey, save your thankin' for someone who's spankin.....I'm not used to this pirate slang at all.
But soon Aaronman joined Superstar and Luke.
Aaronman: Luke! Stitches wants to drive!
Luke: Not now, we've got some big adventuring ahead. We've gotta find the lost treasure.
Superstar: The lost treasure?
His jaw drops with excitement before Stitches grabs a hold of his nose and ends up throwing him overboard.
STiTchEs: TaKE that You FuCking IdioT! He was usElesS WeIGHT ANywaYs! Now LeMME drive! LEMME DRIVE!
Luke: Not now lad, we're almost to the treasure!
Luke lets go of the wheel and takes a step back, resting against the side of the ship as Aaronman notices he has a small wheel attached to his trousers.
Aaronman: Say Luke....
Luke: What ya say dick captain Aaronman.
Aaronman: That's deck captain. And do you realize you have a steering wheel on your crotch?
Luke: Arrrr, I know. It's driving me nuts.
Aaronman simply raises an eyebrow out of being completely dumbfounded by the comment. Luke turns to look at his compass and notices some black clouds appearing overhead.
Luke: Say, those weren't there before. I think a storms a brewin'!
Sure enough, soon rain started to down pour and lighting all around. The ship started slowly tossing and turning when suddenly "CUT!". A small balding man in dressy clothes walks onto the ship as the rain disappears.
Dressy Man: Can we not get some decent rocking on this ship?! Come on people, this films scheduled to be out this winter. Now are you gonna work with me or not! Jesus, I need a new staff, boy I would just love a new staff. And Luke, could you drop this Evan crap. Who the fuck is Evan?
Luke: Damnit! I'm going on break, this is like the 600th fucking shot we've taken. Where's Michael Bay when you need him? We could have explosions and transformers and megan fox slowly running across the beach but no! We're stuck with you! You want this Gilligan's Island spinoff to happen then you better shape up.
Luke rips his eye patch off and throws it at the apparent director and storms off the set. Stitches soon grabs the mans nose and as well, tosses him overboard.
Director: Goddamnit Aaron, damnit! You're fired. You hear me! You're fired. I'll do this series without you! We don't need you freaks anyways! I don't care how popular you are!
STitchEs: We can barely hear your faggoty ass from all the way up here! Luckily you're fat or you'd drown!
Meanwhile Luke is now in his dressing room getting pampered by some hot asian chick.
Luke: Could you not put on so much paint this time? I had a hell of a buzz but damn, going out in that sun is just painful with all this crap on.
Asian: Sorry sir Luke.
Luke: That's fine, here's ten bucks, go get yourself something nice.
Asian: Oh thank you sir Luke. You want happy end?
Luke: No no, not now. Maybe later. Now, skidattle!
The asian turns and leaves, as Luke rests in his chair. He flips the television on, only to see a WWE rewind of this past Smackdown. Showing the exactly moments where Evan Starr interfered in his match and afterwards made him look like an idiot by stomping him down. Luke stands up and throws the tv off of its stand. It lands hard on the floor and the screen smashes into hundreds of pieces. Of course the camera was still on and he knew this. They were filming behind the scenes shots of the new WWE studios film starring Psycho Luke and Aaron Masters, remaking Gilligans Island. Well he may as well take advantage of it. He pondered various thoughts in his head. The incident replayed over and over like a broken skipping dvd. All he remembers is being smashed into the ring post and then waking up on his couch. Not until later did he realize just what had happened. Oh sure, Evan had his fun....for a minute. But next week Luke was about to have his fun. After the match Shane had specifically told him that he'd get his revenge. A tag match isn't quite what he had in mind, but having some back up would be nice. Not to mention the added cage would surely come in handy against Evan's skull. But he wasn't about to forget Jeremy. He only did what any man would have done and took advantage of the situation. But that doesn't mean Luke still didn't want to kick his ass. Jeremy was probably one of the very few who had a no loss record on Luke. Granted it was their first contest, but Luke wouldn't let his experience go to waste. Jeremy was also in this tag match, so it was the perfect opportunity to get his revenge on Evan and show Jeremy that his victory was a mistake.
Luke: Oh sure, Evan had his fun on Smackdown. Evan, got to play his little games on Smackdown. He wants to interfere in my business because of some grudge he has from a year ago? Way to prove that you are nothing more than an idiot. Have you're little grudges, play you're little games. You're only digging your own grave kid. What, were the victories not enough? The international championship not enough? The countless hours of publicity and marketing to make you look like a star not enough? No, of course not. You wanted to have your cake and eat it too. Nothing was good enough for you was it? And you can't handle the fact that you weren't able to get that piece of scrap metal put around your waste. I made you a star Evan. Not anyone else. ME! I created you, I pushed you, and I'll have no problem ending you! I made you what you've become Evan. I'm the one that signed you to my company. I'm the one that saw your potential. I'm the one that pushed you through the ranks faster than a bullet, and I'm also the one who apparently wasted countless hours of my life training with you and promoting you throughout the world. Let's throw away this fucking veil, the fan's know the truth anyways. Evan Starr was a guy that I helped build up. I helped teach him the ways of the business, I helped train him, I helped turn him into the "epic" that he has become. And after all of this. After everything that has happened between us, you want to throw it all away because you were never able to hang onto an oversized piece of gold jewelry? Fuck you Evan, fuck you!
He continues pacing back and forth in his room, the camera catching every moment. What was supposed to be a behind the scenes for a special dvd release will soon be another aired promo on wwe.com.
Luke: You want a little bit of insight on the CWF Championship? It was the most prestigious title across America. Better than the WWE Championship, better than the WWE World Heavyweight Championship, better than the TNA Championship, and even better than the ROH championship. Only the absolute top of the line held that title. Guys I can respect whether I had differences with them or not. Your Aaron Masters, your Jake Bensons, your Levi Russows, even your Alonzo Parkers. Those were the guys that were capable of holding that championship. It wasn't a belt to toss around to the guy who made the most money. We didn't accept guys like John Cena and Jeff Hardy into our company. And you understand that perfectly Evan. We were a wrestling company through and through and our focus was on work ethic and respect for the business. And there's a reason you never got the championship. You weren't ready! I don't care how much merchandise you sold, I don't care how much heat you could draw from the crowd. To hold my title you had to be the absolute best fucking wrestler in the world. Period! You weren't quite there. You had all the potential in the world. I saw potential when I first signed you. I gave you all the tools, all the skills I knew to help you get to the top. However, you were just not experienced enough yet. Had I thrown you in with a guy like Benson or Masters, you would have been ripped apart. Look what happened to Batista? Benson tore that mother fucker a new asshole and now he's sitting in a hospital wishing he had trained more. That could have been your fate Evan. Another year, hell I'd even say half a year and you would have been prime candidate for the championship. However, I sold the company. With as much controversy that arose I did it simply because this is a business, and in this business you have to make money. A lot of the stars were leaving, getting offered ungodly amounts of money elsewhere. I sold the company to WWE before it went completely bankrupt, why? Because it's all business.
He sits down in his chair, trying to collect himself a bit. He pushes his locks back above his head and continues on, venting most of his frustration out.
Luke: You're a selfish prick you know that Evan? You make business just another soap opera. Stabbing me in the back because you couldn't understand why I closed the companies doors. There'd be no doubt in my mind that you could easily grab the WWE World Championship in the state you are in. You've taken what skill and training I've given you and grew it into a beast all of it's own. Don't get me wrong, I still followed you on the independents. You were basically my protege. A guy that I could count on and trust to carry not only my reputation, but wrestlings reputation into the future. A guy who respected this business, a guy who worked hard to perfect his craft. And it only put a smile on my face to hear how much you excelled, to hear how much experience you had gained throughout your journey. Countless championships, countless victories, countless memories. And you want to throw it all away because you never claimed one specific title? That my friend, is called idiocy. But have it your way. Although I'd have hoped you realized what you were getting into. You know all too well what I'm capable of in the ring. And you also know all too well that I've ended many careers in my day. Survival of the fittest they say, I was simply weeding out the idiotic bodybuilders trying to make several extra grand a year thinking they'll take on the fame of wrestling. Well I'll be the unfortunate one to give you the news, that as of Friday the 30th, Evan Starr's career will be over. But never fear, all the fans will be able to pay their respects at the local Charleston hospital. You may not be able to recognize him, with the bandages covering his deeply scarred face. And even though he will be in a coma, please understand that he will be listening to every warm word you give him about how much of a fan you really were. Now I hate to sound like a drama queen, but it's just the type of thing that happens when you fuck around with the wrong guy. This is a dog eat dog world afterall. And if your not trying to align yourself with the top dog, then the only way for you to go, is out of this business. And while I'm at it, why don't I give you some food for thought. While you relive your moments as a professional wrestler understand this. You're the reason you'll no longer be here. You made this personal, not I.
He leans back in his chair, feeling relaxed after getting all of his thoughts out vocally. Normally one wouldn't break such kayfabe but hey Luke was controversial, nor did he really care for that matter. But then there was Jeremy, still a mystery to Luke. He managed to offer up a good challenge before the match was interrupted.
Luke: Oh, don't think I've forgotten about you Jeremy. We had a hell of a match going, you offered up more competition than I had originally planned on. Of course until douchebag ruined it for the both of us. Point is Jeremy, I think there's a need for a rematch. You see, I think of it this way. Rarely have you seen me get defeated under clean circumstances. Usually there's a disqualification, an interference, some sort of blatant way for my competition to prove that they don't want to man up enough for the task at hand. And there's a reason for that. I'm as experienced as they come. Ask anybody. And if you manage to beat me, well you'll have been sweating your balls off to get you that far. I have no problem shaking a man's hand after the match if he defeated me. I have no problem, admitting that I wasn't the better man that night. But unless you've defeated me with a clean slate then you haven't proven shit to me. So you're 1 and 0 against me. Good for you, you did it with help. If you really want to show just how good you are. If you really want to show that you can be a legend in this business, then sometime down the road you'll be able to put my shoulders to the canvas, or make me give up under a clean slate. No interference, no disqualifications. Just two guys, one on one in the utmost of competitive encounters. I would love to say you'll be getting a good taste of this, but quite frankly you're the least of my concern. As far as this week goes, I'll be more than happy to feed you to Aaron. He hasn't had a fight in quite awhile, and I'm sure. No, I'm positive, he's aching for one. If you want to come in and make a name off of me. To prove that you're someone who will be remembered in this industry, then you better bring your fucking A-game. You think I'm just some kind of joke don't you? Just another happy go lucky fuck who runs around like a chicken with it's head cut off? Do you think I'm retarded? Maybe you question my insanity. To tell you the truth sometimes I question it myself. But that's not the argument at hand. You and Evan both seem to think I'm just the jolly jokester around here. Well fine, the jokes are over. The laughing is over. If you want to see just how "Psycho" I am, all you had to do was ask. Sure maybe I hear a voice every now and then. Maybe I have a screw loose somewhere. But I'm known as the Psycho one because of my devotion for a sport I've grown very very fond of. I destroy my own well being every time I'm in a ring because nothing gets me off more. It's simply the insanity that this business causes. I assume because of all my "jokes" all my "sarcasm" that you think you'd be able to waltz away with a victory. Do you think I would have managed all my victories, all my championships, all of my respect by running around acting like a damn idiot all the time? When it's crunch time, that's when the laughing goes away....for the most part. That's when the jokes go away....again for the most part. That's when the games end. But I guess I'm just a jokester, a pushover. Is that right? No Jeremy, I'm not a pushover, and I'm not lying down for anybody. I guarantee we'll meet again inside the ring, and I guarantee you'll have to work your ass off to get the victory.
Not moments after Luke finishes his speech the director charges into the room.
Director: Luke, listen, I didn't mean what I said. I need you in this project. I tell you what, because I know you can give me gold, this will be the last take. I guarantee. I don't care how weak the ship swaying looks or how bad Molly's make up is. We gotta get this thing rolling man. This movie is going to get us money!
Luke: Okay fine! But I'm not doing it for the money! I'm doing it cause I loved that fucking show as a child. So you better not screw it up!
Luke gets up out of his big comfy chair and storms off past the director who only manages to flop his arms into the air.
Director: Jesus, where do they get these prima donnas?
A tale of a fateful trip
That started from this tropic port
Aboard this tiny ship.
The Luke was a mighty sailing man,
The stripper nude for sure.
Five passengers set sail that day
For a three hour tour, a three hour tour.
The weather started getting rough,
The tiny ship was tossed,
If not for the courage of the fearless crew
The bitches would be lost, the bitches would be lost.
The ship set ground on the shore of this uncharted desert isle
With Psycho Luke
The Stripper too,
The murderer and his knife,
The superstar
The Molester and Aaronman,
Here on Psycho Luke's Isle.
What a nice day it was. The sky was as blue as the sky normally is. The water, although a bit murky was rippled with the friction of the gentlebreeze that blew this ship along. Oh but this was no ordinary ship. This was the SS Bitches, finest ship in all of stormalong. A few were lounging on the deck, while in control of the vessle was Psycho Luke. One of the most famous pirates who ever lay. An eyepatch covered his left and a grin covered his face. He seemed in nirvana. The way the ship quietly sailed along the lake, boy it was a nice afternoon.
Luke: Evan me boy, you were right. There is nothing quite like sailing out in the open water. The nice breeze you feel as your ship gets pulled by it, the vast blue view only intercepted by a glimpse here and there of land. The crisp clear thoughts running through your head with nothing to disturb them. This is indeed heaven. To be able to think for once without people shouting in your ear consistently. The only chattering out here is that of the gulls,waiting to use your precious ship as a toilet. And to think I've not thought of this sooner. Evan, you really are a champion.
Soon another fellow runs up to Luke with an estranged look on his face.
Superstar: Luke, It's me, the superstar. There's a murderer on board! The stripper was just found stabbed to death, and she's nude! Nude I tell you!
Luke: I am too calm to care, to stoned to throw a bone....or whatever that phrase may be. Say, have you offered to make him a batch of tea? I bet such a substance would sooth his soul and farce him to put his knife away.
Superstar: Say, I never thought of that. Thank's cap'n!
Luke: Hey hey, save your thankin' for someone who's spankin.....I'm not used to this pirate slang at all.
But soon Aaronman joined Superstar and Luke.
Aaronman: Luke! Stitches wants to drive!
Luke: Not now, we've got some big adventuring ahead. We've gotta find the lost treasure.
Superstar: The lost treasure?
His jaw drops with excitement before Stitches grabs a hold of his nose and ends up throwing him overboard.
STiTchEs: TaKE that You FuCking IdioT! He was usElesS WeIGHT ANywaYs! Now LeMME drive! LEMME DRIVE!
Luke: Not now lad, we're almost to the treasure!
Luke lets go of the wheel and takes a step back, resting against the side of the ship as Aaronman notices he has a small wheel attached to his trousers.
Aaronman: Say Luke....
Luke: What ya say dick captain Aaronman.
Aaronman: That's deck captain. And do you realize you have a steering wheel on your crotch?
Luke: Arrrr, I know. It's driving me nuts.
Aaronman simply raises an eyebrow out of being completely dumbfounded by the comment. Luke turns to look at his compass and notices some black clouds appearing overhead.
Luke: Say, those weren't there before. I think a storms a brewin'!
Sure enough, soon rain started to down pour and lighting all around. The ship started slowly tossing and turning when suddenly "CUT!". A small balding man in dressy clothes walks onto the ship as the rain disappears.
Dressy Man: Can we not get some decent rocking on this ship?! Come on people, this films scheduled to be out this winter. Now are you gonna work with me or not! Jesus, I need a new staff, boy I would just love a new staff. And Luke, could you drop this Evan crap. Who the fuck is Evan?
Luke: Damnit! I'm going on break, this is like the 600th fucking shot we've taken. Where's Michael Bay when you need him? We could have explosions and transformers and megan fox slowly running across the beach but no! We're stuck with you! You want this Gilligan's Island spinoff to happen then you better shape up.
Luke rips his eye patch off and throws it at the apparent director and storms off the set. Stitches soon grabs the mans nose and as well, tosses him overboard.
Director: Goddamnit Aaron, damnit! You're fired. You hear me! You're fired. I'll do this series without you! We don't need you freaks anyways! I don't care how popular you are!
STitchEs: We can barely hear your faggoty ass from all the way up here! Luckily you're fat or you'd drown!
Meanwhile Luke is now in his dressing room getting pampered by some hot asian chick.
Luke: Could you not put on so much paint this time? I had a hell of a buzz but damn, going out in that sun is just painful with all this crap on.
Asian: Sorry sir Luke.
Luke: That's fine, here's ten bucks, go get yourself something nice.
Asian: Oh thank you sir Luke. You want happy end?
Luke: No no, not now. Maybe later. Now, skidattle!
The asian turns and leaves, as Luke rests in his chair. He flips the television on, only to see a WWE rewind of this past Smackdown. Showing the exactly moments where Evan Starr interfered in his match and afterwards made him look like an idiot by stomping him down. Luke stands up and throws the tv off of its stand. It lands hard on the floor and the screen smashes into hundreds of pieces. Of course the camera was still on and he knew this. They were filming behind the scenes shots of the new WWE studios film starring Psycho Luke and Aaron Masters, remaking Gilligans Island. Well he may as well take advantage of it. He pondered various thoughts in his head. The incident replayed over and over like a broken skipping dvd. All he remembers is being smashed into the ring post and then waking up on his couch. Not until later did he realize just what had happened. Oh sure, Evan had his fun....for a minute. But next week Luke was about to have his fun. After the match Shane had specifically told him that he'd get his revenge. A tag match isn't quite what he had in mind, but having some back up would be nice. Not to mention the added cage would surely come in handy against Evan's skull. But he wasn't about to forget Jeremy. He only did what any man would have done and took advantage of the situation. But that doesn't mean Luke still didn't want to kick his ass. Jeremy was probably one of the very few who had a no loss record on Luke. Granted it was their first contest, but Luke wouldn't let his experience go to waste. Jeremy was also in this tag match, so it was the perfect opportunity to get his revenge on Evan and show Jeremy that his victory was a mistake.
Luke: Oh sure, Evan had his fun on Smackdown. Evan, got to play his little games on Smackdown. He wants to interfere in my business because of some grudge he has from a year ago? Way to prove that you are nothing more than an idiot. Have you're little grudges, play you're little games. You're only digging your own grave kid. What, were the victories not enough? The international championship not enough? The countless hours of publicity and marketing to make you look like a star not enough? No, of course not. You wanted to have your cake and eat it too. Nothing was good enough for you was it? And you can't handle the fact that you weren't able to get that piece of scrap metal put around your waste. I made you a star Evan. Not anyone else. ME! I created you, I pushed you, and I'll have no problem ending you! I made you what you've become Evan. I'm the one that signed you to my company. I'm the one that saw your potential. I'm the one that pushed you through the ranks faster than a bullet, and I'm also the one who apparently wasted countless hours of my life training with you and promoting you throughout the world. Let's throw away this fucking veil, the fan's know the truth anyways. Evan Starr was a guy that I helped build up. I helped teach him the ways of the business, I helped train him, I helped turn him into the "epic" that he has become. And after all of this. After everything that has happened between us, you want to throw it all away because you were never able to hang onto an oversized piece of gold jewelry? Fuck you Evan, fuck you!
He continues pacing back and forth in his room, the camera catching every moment. What was supposed to be a behind the scenes for a special dvd release will soon be another aired promo on wwe.com.
Luke: You want a little bit of insight on the CWF Championship? It was the most prestigious title across America. Better than the WWE Championship, better than the WWE World Heavyweight Championship, better than the TNA Championship, and even better than the ROH championship. Only the absolute top of the line held that title. Guys I can respect whether I had differences with them or not. Your Aaron Masters, your Jake Bensons, your Levi Russows, even your Alonzo Parkers. Those were the guys that were capable of holding that championship. It wasn't a belt to toss around to the guy who made the most money. We didn't accept guys like John Cena and Jeff Hardy into our company. And you understand that perfectly Evan. We were a wrestling company through and through and our focus was on work ethic and respect for the business. And there's a reason you never got the championship. You weren't ready! I don't care how much merchandise you sold, I don't care how much heat you could draw from the crowd. To hold my title you had to be the absolute best fucking wrestler in the world. Period! You weren't quite there. You had all the potential in the world. I saw potential when I first signed you. I gave you all the tools, all the skills I knew to help you get to the top. However, you were just not experienced enough yet. Had I thrown you in with a guy like Benson or Masters, you would have been ripped apart. Look what happened to Batista? Benson tore that mother fucker a new asshole and now he's sitting in a hospital wishing he had trained more. That could have been your fate Evan. Another year, hell I'd even say half a year and you would have been prime candidate for the championship. However, I sold the company. With as much controversy that arose I did it simply because this is a business, and in this business you have to make money. A lot of the stars were leaving, getting offered ungodly amounts of money elsewhere. I sold the company to WWE before it went completely bankrupt, why? Because it's all business.
He sits down in his chair, trying to collect himself a bit. He pushes his locks back above his head and continues on, venting most of his frustration out.
Luke: You're a selfish prick you know that Evan? You make business just another soap opera. Stabbing me in the back because you couldn't understand why I closed the companies doors. There'd be no doubt in my mind that you could easily grab the WWE World Championship in the state you are in. You've taken what skill and training I've given you and grew it into a beast all of it's own. Don't get me wrong, I still followed you on the independents. You were basically my protege. A guy that I could count on and trust to carry not only my reputation, but wrestlings reputation into the future. A guy who respected this business, a guy who worked hard to perfect his craft. And it only put a smile on my face to hear how much you excelled, to hear how much experience you had gained throughout your journey. Countless championships, countless victories, countless memories. And you want to throw it all away because you never claimed one specific title? That my friend, is called idiocy. But have it your way. Although I'd have hoped you realized what you were getting into. You know all too well what I'm capable of in the ring. And you also know all too well that I've ended many careers in my day. Survival of the fittest they say, I was simply weeding out the idiotic bodybuilders trying to make several extra grand a year thinking they'll take on the fame of wrestling. Well I'll be the unfortunate one to give you the news, that as of Friday the 30th, Evan Starr's career will be over. But never fear, all the fans will be able to pay their respects at the local Charleston hospital. You may not be able to recognize him, with the bandages covering his deeply scarred face. And even though he will be in a coma, please understand that he will be listening to every warm word you give him about how much of a fan you really were. Now I hate to sound like a drama queen, but it's just the type of thing that happens when you fuck around with the wrong guy. This is a dog eat dog world afterall. And if your not trying to align yourself with the top dog, then the only way for you to go, is out of this business. And while I'm at it, why don't I give you some food for thought. While you relive your moments as a professional wrestler understand this. You're the reason you'll no longer be here. You made this personal, not I.
He leans back in his chair, feeling relaxed after getting all of his thoughts out vocally. Normally one wouldn't break such kayfabe but hey Luke was controversial, nor did he really care for that matter. But then there was Jeremy, still a mystery to Luke. He managed to offer up a good challenge before the match was interrupted.
Luke: Oh, don't think I've forgotten about you Jeremy. We had a hell of a match going, you offered up more competition than I had originally planned on. Of course until douchebag ruined it for the both of us. Point is Jeremy, I think there's a need for a rematch. You see, I think of it this way. Rarely have you seen me get defeated under clean circumstances. Usually there's a disqualification, an interference, some sort of blatant way for my competition to prove that they don't want to man up enough for the task at hand. And there's a reason for that. I'm as experienced as they come. Ask anybody. And if you manage to beat me, well you'll have been sweating your balls off to get you that far. I have no problem shaking a man's hand after the match if he defeated me. I have no problem, admitting that I wasn't the better man that night. But unless you've defeated me with a clean slate then you haven't proven shit to me. So you're 1 and 0 against me. Good for you, you did it with help. If you really want to show just how good you are. If you really want to show that you can be a legend in this business, then sometime down the road you'll be able to put my shoulders to the canvas, or make me give up under a clean slate. No interference, no disqualifications. Just two guys, one on one in the utmost of competitive encounters. I would love to say you'll be getting a good taste of this, but quite frankly you're the least of my concern. As far as this week goes, I'll be more than happy to feed you to Aaron. He hasn't had a fight in quite awhile, and I'm sure. No, I'm positive, he's aching for one. If you want to come in and make a name off of me. To prove that you're someone who will be remembered in this industry, then you better bring your fucking A-game. You think I'm just some kind of joke don't you? Just another happy go lucky fuck who runs around like a chicken with it's head cut off? Do you think I'm retarded? Maybe you question my insanity. To tell you the truth sometimes I question it myself. But that's not the argument at hand. You and Evan both seem to think I'm just the jolly jokester around here. Well fine, the jokes are over. The laughing is over. If you want to see just how "Psycho" I am, all you had to do was ask. Sure maybe I hear a voice every now and then. Maybe I have a screw loose somewhere. But I'm known as the Psycho one because of my devotion for a sport I've grown very very fond of. I destroy my own well being every time I'm in a ring because nothing gets me off more. It's simply the insanity that this business causes. I assume because of all my "jokes" all my "sarcasm" that you think you'd be able to waltz away with a victory. Do you think I would have managed all my victories, all my championships, all of my respect by running around acting like a damn idiot all the time? When it's crunch time, that's when the laughing goes away....for the most part. That's when the jokes go away....again for the most part. That's when the games end. But I guess I'm just a jokester, a pushover. Is that right? No Jeremy, I'm not a pushover, and I'm not lying down for anybody. I guarantee we'll meet again inside the ring, and I guarantee you'll have to work your ass off to get the victory.
Not moments after Luke finishes his speech the director charges into the room.
Director: Luke, listen, I didn't mean what I said. I need you in this project. I tell you what, because I know you can give me gold, this will be the last take. I guarantee. I don't care how weak the ship swaying looks or how bad Molly's make up is. We gotta get this thing rolling man. This movie is going to get us money!
Luke: Okay fine! But I'm not doing it for the money! I'm doing it cause I loved that fucking show as a child. So you better not screw it up!
Luke gets up out of his big comfy chair and storms off past the director who only manages to flop his arms into the air.
Director: Jesus, where do they get these prima donnas?
